Advertisement
Dublin: 12 °C Friday 8 November, 2024

Are you a picky eater? Then you'll understand these problems

We’re not that fussy, honest. We just hate lettuce, tomato, onions, butter, mayonnaise, flaky fish…

IT’S TOUGH BEING a picky eater. It’s bad enough that our childlike palate won’t allow us to experience the full wealth of the world’s offerings.

Then we have the collective judgement of the “I’ll eat anything, me” crowd to contend with if we dare refuse a side salad.

We didn’t choose to be this way, OK? We just ARE. If you can’t change us, you may as well accept us, and all that we have to deal with.

The constant explaining

There’s two avenues here. One is the texture angle: “See, onions TASTE grand, it’s just the TEXTURE.” The other is the simple rebuttal: “I just don’t.”

tumblr_inline_mpd7arZcZz1qz4rgp Tumblr Tumblr

The panic when ordering at a restaurant

Should you tell the person serving you that you don’t want the coleslaw on the side, lest it accidentally touches your sandwich? Or do you say nothing and hope for the best? Arrrgh!

JqgXtsH Imgur Imgur

The shame of giving in and ordering what you really want

“The burger, with no onions or lettuce or tomato. Or mayonnaise.” “So a plain burger?” The word “plain” is so harsh. We prefer “minimal”.

tumblr_m8efvgIJ7S1rnsfq2 Tumblr Tumblr

The stealth tactics when food arrives with something you don’t want on it

Just load it all on to the side plate. Quickly, quietly, without making a scene.

2vrvorkjpg PhotoBucket PhotoBucket

“Are you finished?”

Yes. It may not appear that I am finished, due to the mountain of food left on my plate. But I am finished eating what I can bear to eat. And now I am ashamed of myself.

Justin Bieber Animated GIF - Giphy Giphy Giphy

The challenge of dining at a friend’s or relative’s house

You can’t really get out of this one. You must accept this generous helping of cabbage from your aunt, and you’re going to have to eat at least three forkfuls of it.

giphy Giphy Giphy

People’s reactions

“What? Why wouldn’t you like MAYONNAISE?” Because it’s icky, duh.

Reaction GIF Replygif Replygif

The anxiety at the deli counter

The deli is a picky eater’s nightmare. There’s the “Butter or mayo?” and “Any salad?” questions, the fact that the same gloved hand will be touching sweetcorn and chicken,
and then the horror when the tub of cheese is littered with remnants of lettuce and onion. Is he going for the cheese with the onion in it? Nooooooo!

1074 Replygif Replygif

The loud cries of “I told you so”

When you try something new and like it. Alright, alright, it’s delicious! But stop looking so smug.

tumblr_m017woa9261r47jk9 Tumblr Tumblr

Dominos pizza creates ‘pizza-selfies’ for couple on their wedding day>

Fed up with the full Irish? Check out these amazing uses for black pudding>

Author
Valerie Loftus
View 120 comments
Close
120 Comments
    Submit a report
    Please help us understand how this comment violates our community guidelines.
    Thank you for the feedback
    Your feedback has been sent to our team for review.